Tough guys

CMinOZ

The doors to the bar opened and in walked the biggest piece of Tarmac the bar tender had ever seen. Slick, black and wide with impeccable white lines.

"Give me a beer, bar man - I am the toughest of all the roads, I am the MOTORWAY"

Quivering with fear the barman pours the Motorway a beer and he then moves over to the pool table.

A couple of minutes later the door opens again; in walks another large piece of black tarmac.

"I may not be as big as him" it says, gesturing to the Motorway "but I am longer, tougher and stronger; I am the DUAL CARRIAGEWAY, give me a beer."

Quivering again, the barman pours him a beer and he retires to the pool table with the Motorway.

A couple more minutes pass and the door opens again. This time, a slightly smaller piece of Tarmac walks in, grey in colour, battered around the edges with a few potholes.

"I know every trick in the book, I am the oldest of all the roads and the toughest to boot. Give me a beer now as I am the A ROAD."

Pouring the beer the barman nodded to other roads at the pool table, the A Road strolled over and joined them.

A little time passed and sure enough door opened and standing in the frame was a piece of red tarmac. Approaching the bar the piece of red tarmac said "Good afternoon bar man, would you be kind enough to pour me a glass of your finest stella artois?"

The bar man was quick to oblige and poured the beer, the red piece of tarmac thanked him profusely and then proceeded to drink the beer in one. During his drinking the barman looks over to the pool table where the other roads are quivering with fee and avoiding the eyes of the red tarmac.

Once finished, the red tarmac looks to the pool table, returns his eyes to the barman, thanks him for the drink and leaves.

As soon as he is gone the bar man says "Oi, you three, what's your problem. You come in here telling me how tough you all are and giving it the large one. But when a little, polite piece of red tarmac comes in for a stella you all go quiet and sh!t yourselves"

"Do you know who that was" said the Motorway.

"No" replied the barman "who was he?"


Wait for it...





Wait for it...


"He was a cycle path"

cellaratt

Niiiiiiice !!!!!!!!!

Nath

The same joke can be told but substituting tarmac for confectionary, goes the same, 'that toffee is the hardest sweet in all of sweet town...blah blah, A locket walks in and offers to fight the toffee, the toffee declines and returns to his pint. The barman asks, 'hey toffee why didnt u teach that locket a lesson?' the tffee replies, 'listen, I'm bloody hard, but those lockets are menthol!!!!!

Try the veal.