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a couple of jokes discussed at Musclechat.co.uk the community for powerlifters, bodybuilders, strongmen and athletes. a couple of jokes - Anything goes in here! (All abusive, offensive and posts deemed inappropriate will be removed)
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29-07-2005, 04:28 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Making Progress Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Just outside Joe16's house! Posts: 573 Rep Power:  |  a couple of jokes A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" Letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc.& gt; In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note: Dear Becky, I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the f*** you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me. Take Care, Ricky -  The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello." "Is your daddy home?" he asked. "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" The child whispered, "No." Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes." "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?" "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy", whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a Helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly alarmed. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "ME." |
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29-07-2005, 05:06 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Making Progress Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Derry/N.Ireland Posts: 159 Rep Power: | Excellant Sam..Thanks for that, needed a good laugh  ______________________ I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament. Mod @ www.hardcoremuscle.co.uk Mod @ www.hardgainer.co.uk email - bigdaddy@hardcoremuscle.co.uk |
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29-07-2005, 06:10 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Making Progress Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Way Out West Posts: 578 Rep Power: | Nice one. ______________________ IronArena.com |
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29-08-2005, 03:16 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Making Progress  Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Mansfield Notts Posts: 193 Rep Power: | Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands... First floor The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went. Second floor The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?" Third floor This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went. " Fourth floor This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! " So up to the fifth floor they went. Fifth floor The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs. ______________________ Nidge |
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