a new joke

exaktlywhat · 17-04-2005, 07:35 PM

two hunters are walking thru the woods when one of them drops to the ground stone dead. the second being a good friend grabs his cell phone and calls emergency 911. the operator answers and asks what his emergency is and the guy explains what happened. the operator says that she can help but first she needs him to make sure the other guy is in fact dead and not just passed. the guy says ok and theres a long silence on the line followed by a gunshot. the guy comes back on with the operator and says "ok, now what?"

exaktlywhat · 17-04-2005, 07:46 PM

heres another one...

this cowboy is captured buy a band of violent indians and tied up while they decide what to do with him. the chief brings him out and tells him "we will execute you in three days, do you have any last requests?" the cowboy replies "i would like to see my horse." they bring the horse to hiim and he whispers in its ear and slaps it on the hindquarters and the horse goes galloping off. a few hours later the horse returns with a beautifule big breasted blonde riding him. the indians all scoff at this stupid white man who can think of nothing but getting laid before he dies. the cowboy takes the woman in his tee-pee and goes to business. the next day they ask him the same question having only two more days. again the cowboy requests to speak with his horse. the horse is brought in and the cowboy gives it a whisper and off he goes. a few hours later the horse comes galloping back with two of the hottest redheads theyve ever seen. again the cowboy gets some action in the tee-pee and the indians scoff and laugh at the thought of killing the cowboy. the next day he is brought out and told that it was his last day of life and asked for a final request. a little frustrated he again asks for his horse but this time when they bring it to him instead of whispering he grabs both of the horses ears, looks it dead in the eye and yells "I SAID POSSE...BRING ME THE POSSE!!!"

i personally like that one.

17-04-2005, 09:10 PM

nice one!

exaktlywhat · 17-04-2005, 09:11 PM

thanks stumpy. i was beginning to think they were not funny.

17-04-2005, 09:14 PM

I will be taking all credit for these down the gym! lol

exaktlywhat · 17-04-2005, 09:15 PM

no problem, but if people dont laugh you cant just stand there and go "yeah, some american jackoff gave them to me..."!

exaktlywhat · 17-04-2005, 09:18 PM

heres another short one for those of you trying to remember these...

Q: whats the difference between a rottweiler and a poodle humping your leg?

A: the rott gets to finish!

joe16 · 20-04-2005, 07:07 PM

good to have some humour on the board mate, very good jokes

joe16 · 20-04-2005, 07:08 PM

who designed the vagina?

the council because only the council would put a shit hole next to a play area

LM6000 · 20-04-2005, 08:52 PM

17-04-2005, 07:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
exaktlywhat Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: florida usa Posts: 642 Rep Power:	a new joke two hunters are walking thru the woods when one of them drops to the ground stone dead. the second being a good friend grabs his cell phone and calls emergency 911. the operator answers and asks what his emergency is and the guy explains what happened. the operator says that she can help but first she needs him to make sure the other guy is in fact dead and not just passed. the guy says ok and theres a long silence on the line followed by a gunshot. the guy comes back on with the operator and says "ok, now what?" ______________________ that which does not kill me only serves to make me stronger.

17-04-2005, 07:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
exaktlywhat Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: florida usa Posts: 642 Rep Power:	heres another one... this cowboy is captured buy a band of violent indians and tied up while they decide what to do with him. the chief brings him out and tells him "we will execute you in three days, do you have any last requests?" the cowboy replies "i would like to see my horse." they bring the horse to hiim and he whispers in its ear and slaps it on the hindquarters and the horse goes galloping off. a few hours later the horse returns with a beautifule big breasted blonde riding him. the indians all scoff at this stupid white man who can think of nothing but getting laid before he dies. the cowboy takes the woman in his tee-pee and goes to business. the next day they ask him the same question having only two more days. again the cowboy requests to speak with his horse. the horse is brought in and the cowboy gives it a whisper and off he goes. a few hours later the horse comes galloping back with two of the hottest redheads theyve ever seen. again the cowboy gets some action in the tee-pee and the indians scoff and laugh at the thought of killing the cowboy. the next day he is brought out and told that it was his last day of life and asked for a final request. a little frustrated he again asks for his horse but this time when they bring it to him instead of whispering he grabs both of the horses ears, looks it dead in the eye and yells "I SAID POSSE...BRING ME THE POSSE!!!" i personally like that one. ______________________ that which does not kill me only serves to make me stronger.

17-04-2005, 09:11 PM	#4 (permalink)
exaktlywhat Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: florida usa Posts: 642 Rep Power:	thanks stumpy. i was beginning to think they were not funny. ______________________ that which does not kill me only serves to make me stronger.

17-04-2005, 09:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
exaktlywhat Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: florida usa Posts: 642 Rep Power:	no problem, but if people dont laugh you cant just stand there and go "yeah, some american jackoff gave them to me..."! ______________________ that which does not kill me only serves to make me stronger.

17-04-2005, 09:18 PM	#7 (permalink)
exaktlywhat Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: florida usa Posts: 642 Rep Power:	heres another short one for those of you trying to remember these... Q: whats the difference between a rottweiler and a poodle humping your leg? A: the rott gets to finish! ______________________ that which does not kill me only serves to make me stronger.

17-04-2005, 09:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
Guest Posts: n/a	nice one!

17-04-2005, 09:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
Guest Posts: n/a	I will be taking all credit for these down the gym! lol

20-04-2005, 07:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
joe16 Making Progress Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: oxford Posts: 175 Rep Power:	good to have some humour on the board mate, very good jokes ______________________ more than ya average joe

20-04-2005, 07:08 PM	#9 (permalink)
joe16 Making Progress Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: oxford Posts: 175 Rep Power:	who designed the vagina? the council because only the council would put a shit hole next to a play area ______________________ more than ya average joe

20-04-2005, 08:52 PM	#10 (permalink)
LM6000 Making Progress Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Milton Keynes, UK Posts: 270 Rep Power:

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