TBH most women that don't train already and say they want to 'tone up' want exactly what you said - a smaller version of what they've got now!
I still think that classes like bodypump are great for encouraging women to consider weight training. They also show good form for a variety of lifts, which hopefully translates to when a beginner starts lifting independently.
As vague as 'tone up' is - I think when most women say this what they mean is they want a less soft look, but do not want any seperation of muscle.
All of my female friends want to 'tone up', and many are horrified by muscle seperation on women
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